Ellie Burd – She may not remember you
Words by Chloë Tibbatts
Compelled by an experience of watching her grandmother “disappear”, Ellie Burd’s ongoing project She may not remember you is a delicate and honest exploration into dementia and the relationships she has built with those affected by the illness. Dementia is an umbrella term for more than 200 progressive neurological disorders that over 850,000 people in the UK are living with today. This project encourages us to have an open conversation about memory, isolation, aging and the associated problems some may experience.
By first speaking with the carers, who were often the husbands or wives, Burd was able to build up trust over repeated visits. When asked about how she felt photographing her subjects Burd said: “I was wary from my own experience of the disease, of how photographing such vulnerable individuals could be problematic, and so had no expectations to be able to. However, it became clear that not photographing the people who suffered with dementia was going to hide the problem, which I wanted to bring to the surface. I was taken back by the willingness of these people to be engaged with the project. The honesty, vulnerability and trust shown by them still astound me.” The sensitivity and care taken when making and selecting images of her subjects in vulnerable, and sometimes exposing moments, allows them to retain their dignity. It is clear that her priority is their wellbeing rather than taking photographs.
One of the most striking images in the series features a woman in a tan jumper with neatly pressed sleeves lying on a clean white bed, her hands raised gently to cover her eyes. Despite covering her face, she doesn’t appear to be hiding from the camera itself which is testimony to Burd’s unobtrusive and unassuming approach to photographing her subjects. If you look closer, a wedding ring catches the light. This subtle and slightly uncomfortable reminder of her family makes it hard to not wonder who they are and how their relationship might have changed. From the tension in her lips and brow she appears troubled and pensive, as though reflecting on a painful memory or distressed by her thoughts. However, it is impossible and perhaps unfair to speculate from a single moment. Many of us have experience with Dementia, whether tangential or direct, and it is hard to avoid projecting those experiences onto the subject. Burd’s work challenges us to consider what assumptions or generalisations we may have and acknowledge any existing stigma.
Consisting of portraits and landscapes, the “intentionally ambiguous” and non-linear narrative suggests the complexities of the disease and leaves the viewer slightly disorientated while trying to decipher the connections between the images. Burd says this is “echoing the confusion of memory suffering with a form of dementia.” In the full body of work, the portraits make up the minority of images as they form the moments of clarity “where suddenly everything slots into place and they say something that makes sense”. For some, these moments of clarity could happen daily, for others they could be years apart. Burd explains that the project doesn’t focus on any one subject as she doesn’t feel like she is in a position to fully understand their lives ‘outside of the comparatively small amount of time’ spent with them.
Burd’s accompanying landscapes and details make up the majority of the project and illustrate the moments beyond clarity. They are taken in a variety of locations from the subjects’ gardens to the journeys Burd took between the homes, often while reflecting on the time spent together, and have a mesmerising, painterly quality. In one, dancing blossoms are frozen in their movement with an inky softness to the focus. In another, catkins dripping with light drape across the frame, illuminated with a peaceful lucidity. Both have an alluring sense of glorifying the scene’s beauty and we see a sublime version of reality that comes from viewing the world through a nostalgic lens.
The details seem to alternate from peaceful and still, for instance the dappled light on a carefully set table or the luminous edge of a care home bed, to swimming with movement. In an image looking up at a canopy of looming trees, the forced shift in perspective reverts the viewer back to an almost childlike mindset. Simultaneously playful and intimidating, the trees impose a humbling sense of awe. The blur of the leaves in the wind is slightly dizzying and there is no clear place for the eyes to rest, mirroring the confusion with time and place that many people with dementia experience and illustrating how unsettling this can feel.
Throughout the project, the work remains empathetic and free from judgement. To this day, Burd continues to remain in contact with her subjects and has formed real friendships with the families. She tells us, “I have witnessed love, loss, strength, resilience, hope and optimism whilst making this work. These people have become my close friends, and I can only thank this project for allowing us to meet”.